I have been encouraged and challenged to discover God for myself. I feel like I have been given an invitation to approach God in a new way; a chance to experience him first-hand.
As I got older, in to high school and especially in college, I heard a lot about "finding out about God for myself," or "making my faith my own." Many of my friends and peers would talk about how they were no longer willing to buy into in their parent's, friend's, teacher's, or pastor's thoughts about God without putting it all to the test for themselves. I always thought this was an admirable task, after all we can't get very far until we make knowledge "ours" through personal experience. But, we can learn so much from others' experience and guidance. My recent quest to know God personally is more than just to make my faith my own. It isn't even about discovering if God is trustworthy in what He says or how he relates to me. This quest is about discovering God on an intimate level. I want to look upon his face and discover what makes His heart swell, what brings Him joy, what breaks His heart, what he desires of His people.
I have been reading a book by Glenn Packiam called "Secondhand Jesus." Packiam's book has really helped me to see how much of my knowledge of God comes from secondhand information. unfortunately, not only has my theology been based on "rumors" of God, but I have been content with it being that way. So much of my view of God is based on what I have heard others tell me. I have read many books, sat under many professors, listened to quite a few sermons, and enjoyed many a cd or two about others' experience and knowledge of God. I have invested far more time in secondhand accounts about God than I have in getting to know God intimately and personally. I have not been diligent in discovering God for myself, firsthand.
Recently God has been revealing Himself to me in a brand new way. I have been reading through the Gospels and digesting the story of Jesus. God has been breaking my inadvertent attempts to make Him like myself; an American, a Capitalist, a Kansan, a white-male. Instead, He is showing me that he has different priorities, different purposes, different views of success, and a different view of love and grace. God is letting me "get to know" him in a fresh way. I am so thankful for this!
I am also learning that God desires this kind of intimacy with everyone. Sometimes, as leaders in the church, we are expected to give the people of our church their "serving" of God. The trap is that we become responsible for people's knowledge and experience of God. And, if we are not careful, we can make it easy for them to see themselves as consumers of our "God experiences". Yuck!!!!! God is not a commodity to be "sold" by clergy to the laity. I believe our role as leaders in the church is to enable and encourage people to experience God for themselves. I believe I am called to equip and empower people to discover the story and truth about God in their own life.
So, what does that look like on Sunday mornings? To be honest, I don't know. But, can you imagine a worship gathering in which every person present had been communing with God in the moments, days, and weeks prior to the gathering and were not hoping to "consume" their dose of God in that moment, but instead they were worshipping out of the overflow of their heart. I don't want to be a part of a community that comes to worship expecting to receive their portion of God, I want to be a part of a community that brings their worship to God. I want my worship to flow from the part of my heart that cannot be contained any longer!
You know?...
